Ok so now that I am the whistling champion it should be only a matter of time before I can meet Barack Obama. Other whistlers have met presidents, so I can too! (insert mini child tantrum foot stomp). And while I am at it, I can help fulfil one of Mitch Hider’s top 10 wishes (a National Whislting day). So here goes the letter that I will write.
I write to you as the newly crowned international grand champion of whistling (2009). The competition, held in Louisburg North Carolina is the only serious whistling competition in the world, and has been going for 36 years. Sadly fewer and fewer Americans are winning the competition (only one of the winners out of the men’s, teen, children’s and women’s categories was an American!).
Japan is now emerging as the country that is the most serious about whistling. As a result, last year’s competition was held in Japan, and I fear that we are in danger of losing this competition from American soil altogether if we are not careful. Lets not become complacent like we did with the America’s cup!
So why am I emailing you? as I am in work mode and you are undoubtedly busy, I will summarise what I think would be a good way forward, and highlight the benefits.
- The establishment of a National Whistling Day. In these tough economic times whistling makes people happy (I am regularly asked if I am happy simply because I whistle alot – which I am!), and the ‘whistle while you work’ association will promote hard work.
- This and other initiatives will promote whistling in America and will mean that the title of Whistling champion can return to American soil (where it was for years until about 5 years ago).
- Federal government funding for the Franklyn County Arts Council to ensure that the whistling competition remains on American Soil and is not lost to Japan!
- An audience with you to demonstrate the whistling that won me the title of international grand champion. This is not without precedent – one of the previous champions whistled for George Bush Snr 🙂
As a side benefit, North Carolina was a very close state in the election. This would be a good news story that would capture the imaginations of North Carolineans, and unite the nation in happiness and patriotism and whistling!. America has led the world not just in ideals and economics, but sport, and culture. Don’t let whistling slip away too, its almost too late!
Thank you very much for reading this email, I look forward to hearing from you as soon as is convenient.
PS your popularity is so strong overseas that even my 4 year old nephew Jonathan could tell me who the president of the USA was. Unfortunately it wasn’t you, it was Bucket O’Banana.